Little Ralphy

LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH (Part 1)
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> A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'
> She calls on little Ralphy.
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> He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'
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> The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'
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> Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU.
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> There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
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> One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
> The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
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> The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
> Which one is married?'
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> The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'
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> To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'
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> LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH (Part 2)
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> Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
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> 'Why?' asks the father?
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> 'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPHY.
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> 'But that's right!' says his dad.
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> 'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''
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> 'What's the f...... difference?' asks the father.
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> 'That's what I said!'
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> LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER
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> Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
> After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'
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> Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'
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> The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
> Little RALPHY answered, 'No, he minded his own business.
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